My dad and my brothers and I went pheasant hunting after Christmas. It’s not something we normally do. My older brother was on leave from the Marines, and I was back from college. We went hunting last year too.
You hunt pheasants with a shotgun. The pheasants hide in the long grass and then burst upward into flight. We had a guide who used his dog to flush the birds into the air. I had a 12 gauge pump-action for most of the hunt. Shooting a gun is one of the coolest things I’ve done. My shotgun had some kick, but it didn’t hurt.
I was psyched to hunt. I felt shaky and tingly when we started, and my heartbeat was hammering in my chest. I was itching to pull the trigger.
We were walking through the grass when a pheasant leapt out of the grass and clawed for the air. I slid off the safety, brought the shotgun put to my cheek, and squeezed the trigger. Boom! The recoil felt like someone had pushed against my right shoulder. Someone else fired too. We had missed, and the bird flew away.
I turned my gun over to reload. Wisps of grey smoke snaked out of the loading chamber. I smelled something bitter I knew was gunpowder.
I saw dozens of shotgun shells littering the ground as we walked through the field. Red, black, green, blue, yellow, and purple. But not pink. I don’t think bringers of death should be pink. Doesn’t seem right.
We flushed out a lot of pheasants, and we shot a lot. Shooting once and then chambering another round and firing again was awesome. Most of the birds got away, but we brought seven home. It felt good to be walking together in a line. My dad and my brothers and I cut through the grass like straight arrows flying toward a target.
Per Sanguis 
jonathan
/ December 28, 2009What do you guys think?
Zachary L
/ December 29, 2009sounds pretty awesome! well written my friend
jonathan
/ December 29, 2009Thanks, man. I really appreciate it when people comment becuase it makes it feel like somebody is listening. And that’s the point. I could just write all of this on my computer if I wanted.
Anonymous
/ December 30, 2009It was somewhat surprising… and yet, not… to hear that you went hunting.
I’m not sure what you would call the bit about death bringers being pink. Comic relief, perhaps? Either way, I liked it. I’m sure I’ve said it before, but the straight-forwardness of your writing is very appealing and reminiscent of King.
One thing you might want to be consious of is the flow of the writing. Making each sentence flow into the next, mainly through the known-new contract– placing already known info first in the sentence.
… I turned it into a lesson, whoops. XD
Apryl
/ December 30, 2009BTW, ^^^ was me.
jonathan
/ December 30, 2009Thanks for the comment and the tip. I’ll keep that in mind next time.
Mike Utsey
/ January 31, 2012Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!
Area51 Blog
/ February 8, 2012I genuinely appreciate your work , Great post.