Fight Club Parody

Parents complain after students start “fight club”

Donors and parents of students have complained to Evergreen University after some students started a “fight club.” The boxing club is not one of Evergreen’s sponsored clubs, according to university officials.

The club was allegedly founded by a student named Tyler Durden. However, university officials say that there is no student by that name attending the school. This individual is rumored to look like a young Brad Pitt.

“A good-looking kid, by all accounts,” said Cletus McCoy, Vice Regent of Fashion Relations.

University officials first learned of the club’s existence after a large spike in injuries reported at the school medical center.

We spoke to an alleged member of the club. When asked about specifics of the club, the student would only say, “The first rule of fight club is …” and then trailed off into silence.

Donors and parents of students are disturbed by the club’s radical and anti-capitalism teachings. Dr. Adam Davidson, interim president, said that the school does not condone the new club.

“We want our students to go to college, get a job … I don’t know, get married,” Davidson said.

Campus Safety is working to uncover more information by circulating posters that ask, “Do you know about Tyler Durden?”

(This post is a parody of “Fight Club” by Chuck Palahniuk. I do not benefit financially from this work.)