Fight Club Parody

Parents complain after students start “fight club”

Donors and parents of students have complained to Evergreen University after some students started a “fight club.” The boxing club is not one of Evergreen’s sponsored clubs, according to university officials.

The club was allegedly founded by a student named Tyler Durden. However, university officials say that there is no student by that name attending the school. This individual is rumored to look like a young Brad Pitt.

“A good-looking kid, by all accounts,” said Cletus McCoy, Vice Regent of Fashion Relations.

University officials first learned of the club’s existence after a large spike in injuries reported at the school medical center.

We spoke to an alleged member of the club. When asked about specifics of the club, the student would only say, “The first rule of fight club is …” and then trailed off into silence.

Donors and parents of students are disturbed by the club’s radical and anti-capitalism teachings. Dr. Adam Davidson, interim president, said that the school does not condone the new club.

“We want our students to go to college, get a job … I don’t know, get married,” Davidson said.

Campus Safety is working to uncover more information by circulating posters that ask, “Do you know about Tyler Durden?”

(This post is a parody of “Fight Club” by Chuck Palahniuk. I do not benefit financially from this work.)

How to Find (Fictional) Books

Are you having trouble finding a book? Does it sometimes feel like it doesn’t even exist? Then you’re in luck because I’ve compiled a list of fictional books and where to find them.

Ship of Theseus by V.M. Straka

In the final novel by Straka, a man with amnesia is forced onto a ship and embarks on a disorienting and dangerous journey. You might find this book at your local library unless someone checked it out and never returned it.

In the Hall of the Last King by Harold G. Talont

Whoever reads this novel becomes convinced the Hall is a real place and attempt to find it. Things escalate after that. You don’t want to pick this for your book club. I’m not going to tell you how to find it.

An Elegy for the Still-living by Maria Enkidu

This story is both an existential dialogue and a quirky fantasy adventure. Imagine mixing Alice in Wonderland, Stephen King, and Samuel Beckett. It can be found here.

Fear and Wonder by Robert Connor

This western adventure was re-discovered after critics found Eghert Stillman’s glowing review. Don’t bother trying to find it online.

Necronomicon by Abdul Alhazred

This ancient book is a textbook of magic. The only known copy of this grimoire is at the Miskatonic University in New England. Of course, they likely won’t allow you to read it.

You can click here if you want to read more about fictional books.