If my brother were to ask …

“Why do you write?” I would look over at my older brother sprawled on the couch. I’ve lived with him most of my life, slept in the same room for a dozen years. I recognize his hands and feet, and I notice the alien phrases he’s adopted while in the Marines.

How many times has he fulfilled this relaxed pose? This room is interwoven with memory. Memories burst in my head like bubbles: watching movies together on Friday night, lounging on the couches during hot summer, roasting hot dogs in the fireplace in the winter.

As the memories rise, I’m surprised and discouraged at how much I must have forgotten. Is my memory like the back of a CD? Something that will amass scratches and stutter and skip as I watch it? I don’t trust my mind.

I would stare at him, carving this scene on the wall of my mind. I taste the words that will evoke this memory.

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9 Comments

  1. What do you think?

    Reply
  2. Simeon

     /  September 14, 2011

    The weakest ink is stronger than the strongest mind!

    -Not my quote

    Reply
  3. I like it a lot, Bundy. The topic and content are excellent. The cd comparison… definite strong comparison. I would suggest making it more… just more. Maybe more detailed or more descriptive. Instead of telling me what’s going on,(ready for the cliche?) show me. How is your brother “sprawled,” etc.

    P.S. Are you sure you don’t want to switch permanently to cnf? 🙂

    Reply
    • Thanks for the constructive criticism, I rarely get it on here. Hopefully, I’ll re-write it for nonfiction and post it here again. 🙂

      Reply
  4. it took me a while to draw a connection between the question and the rest of the passage so i was confused for a whole 5 minutes until it finally clicked (because i’m slow) and everything fell into its rightful place. nice work.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

     /  September 14, 2011

    very nice…that is why I take photos! 🙂 But we need pictures AND words! “alien phrases” is right!! (by martha …the mom)

    Reply

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